An old folk song that I try to emulate, after the jump …...
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I have written before that junior high school was a tough time for me, and went into something of a shell during those two years. By contrast, my time in high school was a chance to recoup and start to emerge (which I have written in this space, as well). Yet not so much that I told some of my classmates how much I admired an action they took.
One example was a discussion in sophomore English class, where our eclectic teacher Hank (The Tank) Barthel asked us boys, “What makes someone a man?” Internally, my reaction was “At age fifteen, how should I know?” And then a classmate named Dennis said, “Being able to admit that you were wrong”. Wow, that got me thinking … yet I was too shy to tell him that.
Another was (during my senior year) when our local newspaper wrote about some of the high school curriculums and their level of innovation, which did not rank our school well. That may have been true a few years earlier, but not then: we had interdisciplinary studies, seminars and career counseling days, guest speakers and many other departures form the norm. Yet it was a classmate named Denise who wrote an eloquent letter-to-the-editor, noting what they missed. Again, no words of thanks came from me.
Fast forward to 1987, when I relocated and the (very) eclectic radio station WKXE played the most recent album by the folksinger Christine Lavin. She has had a full career, including a part-time gig (for several years) with a group called Four Bitchin’ Babes and often performs around the New England folk circuit. She has songs that are hysterical: Ballad of a Ballgame is about her tribulations playing in an adult women’s pick-up softball game, Don’t Ever Call Your Sweetheart by his Name speaks for itself and Prince Charles asks … if he has a last name?
She also has moving tunes: The Dakota is the name for John Lennon’s apartment building and says of homeless people that ‘she once was ”Somebody’s Baby”. And in recent years (until his death in early 2015 at the age of 95) she collaborated with the songwriter Ervin Drake (lyricist for “Good Morning Heartache” and “It Was a Very Good Year”).
The song that makes up tonight’s titleOn that 1986 album was one song in which … I recognized myself. Here are the opening stanzas (with some New York references: the IRT being one of the old private subway lines merged into the NYC transit system, and Bellevue Hospital being NYC’s oldest public hospital).
She's a famous actress From movies and TV I recognize her as we climb The stairs of the IRT We cross the street together We're moving up Broadway I'm trying to come up with something Clever I can say
About how I love her work And what it means to me How in her most recent film She acted brilliantly Maybe she'll think I'm stupid Or maybe this'll make her day? But she disappeared into the crowd And The Moment Slipped Away
He works the wards of Bellevue Hospital In the mail delivery For two years every weekday morning He said “Hello” to me We'd joke about the local teams and the weather of the day Though there were many other things I really wanted to say
You see, he wasn't like the rest of us It was a struggle for him to walk And you had to concentrate really hard Just to understand him talk I wanted to ask him "Where do you get the courage To come to work each day?" But I quit that job and moved along And The Moment Slipped Away
That stuck with me, and by this time I had largely shed the shyness of my mis-spent youth. And so the remainder of the song offered a road map as to rectifying the situation.
Kind words don't move the earth But if it can improve your self worth Why do I let these moments pass me by? Instead I'm quick to judge And I'm quick to blame I'm quick to criticize Quick to maim It's hard to change But I'll try
So maybe it's your best friend Or the next stranger you see Maybe it's your neighbor Maybe it's you Maybe it's me Who needs to hear encouragement To make it through the day Who needs to hear whatever kind words You might have to say
It doesn't matter where you're going Or where you have been Because right now is the perfect moment For us to begin To appreciate each other In new and different ways Oh please don't let another golden Moment Slip Away
To appreciate each other More and more each day Oh please don't let another golden Moment Slip Away
And so I have kept the song in mind as I go through life. Not obsessively — I don’t go looking to find something complimentary to say. Plus I find that using humor — for example, saying something like “Good thing that you said “X” at the meeting; otherwise you-know-who would have ...” — makes it seem less daunting.
And at my last high school reunion: I did not cross paths with the two people I mentioned earlier … but I did tell two women how much I enjoyed their participation in music discussions forty years earlier. More importantly: I told John Bachety how much I admired his mother — after first asking if she was still alive — who was the only Democrat elected in a town (south of where I lived) yet stood-up to some GOP bullies back in the 70’s. He smiled. “Thanks, Ed … I’ll tell her”.
And when I find something I feel like saying — such as seeing the restaurant server’s name on my receipt and telling her I like her first name (Faith) without worrying about looking silly — it usually results in smiles and perhaps a better day for them …. and even myself.
An interesting coda to the song: I never knew who the “famous actress” mentioned in the song’s first line was. It turned out that it was Barbara Barrie— nominated for Oscar, Emmy and Tony awards — and Christine Lavin liked her performance as Goldie Hawn’s mother in “Private Benjamin”. Christine says: (with a note: Julie Gold is the composer of “From a Distance” — the 1991 Grammy Song of the Year that Bette Midler made famous).
Twenty-seven years later (in 2012) my songwriting friend Julie Gold threw me a 60th birthday party, and guess what? She invited Barbara Barrie, too. I brought my guitar and midway thru the party we passed it around. When the guitar landed in my hands I stood up and told the story of seeing her on the subway that day, how it inspired a song, and then I sang it to her in Julie Gold’s living room.
I will never forget that moment. Barbara was beaming. It took 27 years, but I finally got to sing it to her.
And let’s close with …… the song that inspired me, thirty years ago.
x xYouTube VideoNow, on to Top Comments:
From goodasgold:
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